


Over The Years

by OneTriesToWrite



Category: Bumilangit Cinematic Universe, Gundala (2019)
Genre: Ganda is as oblivious as always, Ghazul this won't happen if you stop being a fecking tsundere for a sec, M/M, get ready for some hati yang terpotek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 21:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21345223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneTriesToWrite/pseuds/OneTriesToWrite
Summary: Ghazul is helplessly in love, even when he knows he shouldn't.
Relationships: One-sided Ghazul/Ganda
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6





	Over The Years

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the thread by @soncaka about Ghazul being the one hurt. We don't have enough fics where Ghazul gets hurt and I'm here to fix that.

Ghazul is helplessly, utterly, and madly in love with Ganda, his own assistant, but he doesn't want to admit that.

Well, Ganda isn't an assistant to him, he's more like a henchman, to be more precise. Ghazul has considered referring to him as his lackey as well. Wherever Ghazul goes, Ganda follows. The man is only a breath away. His devotion to Ghazul is unmatched. Ghazul is a master manipulator, he knows that well, but even he sometimes wonder what gets Ganda following him with such dedication like a little duckling. The man never even asks a single question, either because he's too scared, or he's too dumb. Either way, it's not that Ghazul is complaining, of course. He's glad he doesn't have to answer unnecessary questions and that he has someone he can rely on from time to time. In fact, Ghazul often finds himself depending on Ganda more and more with each passing moment. 

Love comes unexpectedly, they say. Ghazul, who has spent most of his life in solitary, normally would laugh at such stupid saying. That is, until one day he sees Ganda grinning at some funny video he finds online and somehow it's the most_ beautiful_ thing Ghazul has seen with his own eyes—Ganda's smile, not the video, obviously.

Soon, not only his smile becomes impossibly beautiful, everything about Ganda takes his breath away. Ganda's laugh sounds like music to his ears. The way Ganda licks his lips before he talks colors Ghazul's cheeks with a flushing hint of pink. Whenever Ganda rolls up the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbow, Ghazul feels weak in the knees. Even just seeing Ganda's normal neutral expression sends butterfly in Ghazul's stomach. In the end, Ghazul often finds himself aching to see Ganda more and more with each passing day.

Ghazul knows he can't possibly act upon his newfound feelings for Ganda. Not because they're both men, no. Ghazul had his own share of bringing women AND men to bed, he doesn't differentiate between genders, he doesn't care about such trivial matter, it's Ganda he's thinking about. Ghazul has no idea if Ganda likes men or not. He never bats an eye everytime Ghazul brings a man home (which, to be honest, kinda pisses Ghazul off), so that's one good thing to know. Ghazul honestly doesn't know how to ask him about his sexual preferences. There's no way Ghazul can casually drop a "Ganda, kamu suka laki-laki?" in a conversation without sounding like a creep. Sure Ghazul might be some sort of a scheming bastard with a dark past, but he's most definitely not an obsessive creep.

So when Ganda accidentally leaves his phone on Ghazul's table, and after Ghazul spends way longer than necessary wondering if he should or shouldn't peak into his assistant's personal life, Ghazul finally decides that he at least needs to know if he has a chance or not.

What Ghazul finds are a picture of Ganda kissing a woman's cheek in his hug as the phone's lock screen and his heart breaking. Ghazul has to hold himself back from slamming the phone to the ground and anger from coiling around him. 

_Anger_? How odd, he has no right to be angry at Ganda. They're just _colleagues_. If Ganda has a girlfriend, who is he to be mad at him? Besides, being mad won't change a thing. If anything, it's probably going to tire him out, puts him in an irritable mood for the whole day (maybe the whole week, even), and God knows maybe even someone like Ghani Zulham himself will end up doing something he normally won't.

_Oh, jadi ini rasanya patah hati, ya?_

"Pacarmu?" Ghazul asks after collecting pieces of his heart on the floor and gluing them back together. He tries to act as casually as possible. He doesn't know if his voice shakes or not, nor does his hand tremble, he only hopes Ganda doesn't notice. He hands the phone to Ganda, who takes it after thanking him with a blushing face.

The way they finger touch for a split second sends sparks of electricity to Ghazul's cold skin and pain to his already broken heart.

_Jangan Ghani, jangan. Dia sudah ada yang punya. _

Ganda smiles sheepishly, something that Ghazul has never seen before, and answers, "Tunangan saya, Pak," with a hint of pride in his voice.

Whoops, there goes another piece of his heart.

It's been so many years since Ghazul last experienced a heartbreak. He forgets how he overcame this suffocating sensation in his chest. The only thing he remembers how to is based on those romcom movies he sometimes watches out of spite (because he likes to laugh at the poor smitten bastards), and apparently they all have the same answer: drown your misery in alcohol. So Ghazul heads to the nearest bar and orders as many drinks as he possibly can, not caring if he can stomach it all and how it'll be for him the next morning.

Obviously not a great idea. Ghazul isn't exactly 'young' anymore, normally a couple shots is enough for him. He ends up almost puking all over the pub's bathroom floor. He doesn't know how, but somehow he manages to pull his cellphone from his pocket and calls the one number he knows won't let him down.

"Ganda," his voice sounds so weak, so _vulnerable_. He hates it, but God knows he can't help it. Not when he's crouching down on the bathroom floor, feeling like everything in his stomach would be out in a second. "Ganda tolong jemput saya," he whines like a little child.

Ghazul forgets what else he says, because the next thing he knows Ganda is already there, pulling him up to his feet and with his arm draped over his shoulder, he practically drags Ghazul out of the loo. Ghazul just now realizes how broad Ganda's shoulder is, and how firm his chest is, and how warm the palm of Ganda's hand feel on his skin.

"Bapak kenapa?" Ganda's voice is full of concern and worry. Makes sense, it's not everyday Ghani Zulham would drink himself stupid like this. In fact, the day where Ghazul does anything stupid is probably the day hell freezes, it's only normal for Ganda to be feeling uneasy.

"_Kenapa_?" Ghazul chuckles, throwing his whole body weight towards Ganda. The man almost loses his balance for a second, but he manages. All the alcohol in his system turns Ghazul into nothing but a giggling mess. "Kira-kira _kenapa_, ya?" Ganda doesn't reply, or maybe Ghazul doesn't catch what he says because he throws up in Ganda's arms.

That's right, Ganda would never let him down, no matter what he does. 

"Kamu nggak mau nemenin saya malam ini?" Ghazul snickers as Ganda struggles keeping him still in one hand and opening the bedroom door with another. 

Ganda kicks the door open loudly, the sound almost deafening in the dead quiet house.

Ghazul pouts to the no response, he throws both his hands around Ganda's neck, pulling Ganda down on the bed with all his weight.

"Pak," Ganda huffs, obviously out of breath from dragging his boss all the way down from the pub to the bed.

"Sssshhhhh," Ghazul only grins, putting one finger on Ganda's lips to shut him up. He traces Ganda's face with his finger. From his cheekbones all the way to his sharp jawline hidden beneath his beard, down to his neck.

Ganda freezes to the touch as Ghazul's fingers start undoing the buttons of his collar.

"Sudah nggak usah ngomong apa-apa kamu," his words turn to giggle as he tries to pull Ganda closer to his face, but Ganda doesn't budge, not even an inch. It's either the alcohol messes with his strength or that Ganda is much stronger than what he thinks. Ganda grips Ghazul's finger, stopping the movement.

"_Pak_," Ganda's voice is as soft as always, quite the contrast of his hard grip. "Bapak mabuk." With that, Ganda pats the shoulder of his boss and gets up from the bed, leaving Ghazul dumbfounded. 

Ghazul wakes up in the morning with a splitting headache and almost no memory of what had happened the last night.

The days go by after that. Ghazul doesn't dare to ask what happened, and Ganda doesn't seem to mind. He never jokes about it, not even making a passing comment. He just shows up the next day like nothing had happened. _Mungkin memang nggak ada apa-apa waktu itu_, Ghazul thinks to himself every now and then.

Curiosity gets the best of him and one day Ghazul finally brave himself and asks Ganda outright, "Waktu saya mabuk, saya ngapain?" 

Ganda hesitates for a second, but seeing Ghazul's stern expression, he knows he won't be able to lie past this one.

"Bapak mendadak telepon saya malam-malam, bilang 'saya mabuk' dan minta dijemput," he says, voice low like a whisper as if he's afraid someone else might hear. "Terus ya saya jemput, saya antar Bapak pulang."

"Terus?" 

"Terus?" 

"Ya _terus_ setelah itu apa?" Ghazul somehow gets annoyed.

Ganda bites his lip, hesitating "Ya udah gitu aja, Pak."

"Ganda."

"Serius, Pak, Bapak mau nya ada apa?"

"Kamu bohong, saya tahu, keliatan kok itu di wajahmu."

Ganda sighs, kneading his temple before continuing, "Bapak narik saya ke kasur," he finally says, "Tapi udah gitu aja, saya tolak, soalnya Bapak mabuk."

This time it's Ghazul's turn to stay quiet.

_Kalau waktu itu saya nggak mabuk, kamu tetap tolak saya atau nggak?_

Of course Ghazul doesn't say that out loud. So he just mutters a quick "Makasih," and turns around, leaving Ganda to continue reading a manuscript they have just found, even if his mind isn't exactly focusing on what's written.

He's thankful for Ganda and his actions, though he does wonder, what would've happened between them if he hadn't stopped.

_Jangan bodoh, Ghani, dia sudah ada yang punya._

Ghazul never really likes the idea of dating. He thinks opening up and baring himself is one of many ways to fall to your demise.

But hey, dating and hooking up are two different things, right? He's not exactly looking for anything serious anyway, only something—corection, _someone_ to get his mind off of Ganda for a second. If he manages to find someone he can connect with, it's only a bonus.

Ghazul starts sleeping around. He goes to different clubs, bars, and even strip clubs and goes home with a different someone each night. He spends the night with them, skin meeting skin, and in the morning, he disappears never to be seen again.

He does that, sometimes on the backseat of his car with Ganda driving behind the wheels.

_Lihat saya, Ganda_, he thinks to himself, stealing glances to the rear mirror while sloppily kissing some chick he just met ten minutes ago. Not even once Ganda bats an eye to that new habit of his.

Ghazul is hurt, and he's tired, so he stops.

"Kamu bulan depan free, Ganda?"

"Wah gak bisa, Pak. Nikah."

"Nikahan siapa? Harus dateng?"

"... Ya saya, Pak."

Ghazul blinks. Unable to process what he has just heard.

"Apa?"

"Bulan depan saya nikah, Pak," Ganda repeats himself with a beaming smile on his face. Ghazul doesn't react, he doesn't know how to, he doesn't know if he wants to. So Ghazul only nods and gives him a quick "Selamat ya," out of formality, and a month off.

"Saya belum ada best man loh, Pak," Ganda adds.

"Maksud kamu?" Ghazul furrows his eyebrows.

Ganda scratches the back of his ear, looking as clueless as always.

"Bapak mau, jadi best man saya?"

_Dasar bego_, Ghazul curses in his head, trying his best to hold back the tears from falling down his cheeks.

Ghazul doesn't exactly remember how Ganda managed to talk him into it. For all he knows, maybe he didn't even have to try. Maybe, out of spur of the moment, Ghazul immediately said yes. And that was how he ended up here, standing in front of the mirror, wearing a striped navy suit and a white flower pinned on his suit pocket.

Ghazul locks his eyes with the reflection of his. He knows he looks good in anything (and he looks even better _without_ anything), but the thought of him being the best man in the wedding of the love of his life punches him right in the guts and makes him feel like a mess.

Ah, apparently he finally admits that he, in fact, is helplessly in love with Ganda Hamdan. But it's a bit too late for that, isn't it?

He could run away right now, leaving the whole thing behind. But he doesn't want to ruin Ganda's most important day in his life. How could he, anyway, he might be evil, but he's not an asshole. There are even some lines he won't cross, especially when it involves Ganda.

The door swings open, Ghazul turns his head towards the sound to find Ganda wearing a tuxedo.

_Astaga_.

Ganda looks so mesmerizing. His normally thick beard has been reduced to almost nothing but a shadow of what used to be there. He looks beautiful, even more than he normally does. Ghazul thinks he has never seen Ganda this beautiful and he doesn't know if anything is able to top that. He feels like all the air has been sucked out of his lungs, and he's left there standing wide-eyed like an idiot.

"Ngapain kamu di sini?" Ghazul asks, nonchalantly. It takes every nerve in his body to keep his composure calm.

_Please bilang kamu ternyata belum siap menikah, please bilang kamu mau ajak saya kabur, saya bakal ikut kamu ke mana saja, saya janji._

Wow he really should stop watching those stupid cheesy romcoms.

"Nggak kenapa-napa sih, Pak, deg-degan aja gitu," Ganda laughs nervously, putting his hand on his chest, as if checking his own heart beat.

Ghazul too, wants to put his hand on Ganda's chest, feeling the beat of his heart.

_Oke Ghani, cukup di sini imajinasi mu terlalu liar._

"Terima kasih ya, Pak," Ganda says, unexpectedly. Ghazul tilts his head. "Sudah mau jadi best man di pernikahan saya ini, saya berterima kasih banyak," Ganda continues, still smiling.

Ghazul huffs, he turns around, making sure Ganda won't be able to see his damp red eyes.

"Cuma ini saja yang bisa saya lakuin buat kamu."

The way Ganda's eyes practically sparkles when he sees the bride walks down the aisle is too much for Ghazul's heart to bear.

God, it hurts. It hurts so much.

Thank God there's a minibar in this wedding.

**Author's Note:**

> Ye giliran bikin beginian aja bisa nembus 2k :(


End file.
